Televised interview on Give & Take with Cicely G

Imagine your client invites you to be a guest on her show. Her televised show. Well it happened to me, and I can tell you I could think of many things I would much rather do, then to be exposed in such a way. Yet, I felt strongly guided to go with it. A few days before taping I dreamed I visited my mom in my hometown. I was naked, and completely comfortable in my skin (must have been some other climate, lol). Long story short: the message in the dream was about exposure being part of the job, and simply allowing it. Being of service to a greater audience is obviously something worth pursuing, and I am very grateful to Cicely and all the teams involved, for everything! Cicely, you and your wonderful team actually made it easy. For your vision, for your loving and supportive presence, I thank you!

As it turns out, the Give & Take shows are vetted by the Oprah team for potential guests on one of her shows. In any case, the YouTube is here. Check out some of the other YouTubes of Give & Take. All together a group of fine people, making a difference.

Even though it took only 10 days to release the acid and pent up energies that created it, the work is ongoing. Observing thoughts, body thoughts and how I relate to everything. Releasing and transmuting what doesn’t serve. Ongoing as overly patriarchal, unsustainable structures all around us are in self destruct mode. Ongoing. Please share if you are touched in some way.


Nell ♡

PS: Will update as soon as I receive word on when it is broadcast on tv, and on which channels.

Path of a timeless wonder


This week marked the 20th anniversary of my brother’s passing, October 22, except in my mind it was the 21st, a day earlier.

Felt strongly I needed to call my mom, got into a great conversation about grief, encounters with random strangers recently who reminded me of Ben, and listened to all my mom shared on the topic. What she shared is private, though I can share one of those encounters I had with a random stranger, who looked like I would imagine my brother would look at age 52, had he continued to be in physical until now.

He was driving a car, and it was as if time slowed down just a bit, so I could have a good look. I was driving too. From the driver’s seat I looked in wonder. Joy and gratitude filled me as I could now put my mind to rest on the question “what would he look like if” and as this man in whom I could see my brother kept sliding on in the opposite direction until he was out of sight, this pang of grief struck me, of missing him. The sound of his voice, his physical touch. The feeling of gratitude and joy continued at the same time. In wonder, I allowed both feelings without judgment.

As I had booked a haircut with Tamara at a local salon, I had to cut the conversation somewhat short. Still thinking it was the 21st, I let Tamara work her magic as my “hair psychologist”. It came to mind that the futuristic date and time of October 21, 2015, 4:00 AM in the movie “Back to the Future” was now in the past. Spent a few moments in wonder, looking back at how my “future” has panned out. How very different and beyond what I had imagined. The people I get to live and Love with. My brother still a part of it, though much different then quite a few of us would have liked.

When I come home, my husband greets me: “Hi Dushi”. Should have known something was up, as he never calls me this, though the first time we met, he overheard me say this to his cousin, inciting a ginormous grin on his part. Dushi is used to describe everything sweet and dear to you in Curacao, Netherlands Antilles, where I lived at the time.

He is listening to some delicious music on YouTube, sharing it on our flat screen, urging me to look up Levi Silvanie, and see where he is from.

Finally I get around to looking him up, and see that Levi is from Curacao. He was just a baby and a toddler when I lived there. That little boy, all grown up now, had the best message for me, and for anyone really. I cry and laugh silently out loud when the date October 22 flashes before me, while Levi’s notes and words flow straight into my heart.

Thank you Joe, and Levi! And thank goodness for that little nudge to call my mom!

Autumn’s Beauty


The beauty of Autumn always comes as a surprise.
At first I am nostalgic, wanting to hold on to Summer heat for as long as I can.
Then there is the gift of Indian Summer, warmer days, cooler nights, followed by the crisper, invigorating Autumn air, and subsequent cooler days. Colors changing, first subtle, growing more and more bold and vibrant.

The harvest we enjoy from seeds and seedlings planted.

The incredible joy in seeing the colors at their peak, and the nostalgia at seeing the first tree letting go rapidly of all of it’s leaves.

And lastly the reverence I feel at the hypnotic display of color, framing the trees, and finally forming a giant carpet. Looking more closely into that carpet, it is teeming with bugs and worms, birds picking at it too. Animals scurrying about, gathering, preparing for what is to come, migrating, answering to the call of the wild. All working in harmony with the ancient, intelligent and eloquent ways of Mother Nature. Lady Gaia. Mama Tierra – Mother Earth. She – as an aspect of my being – commends a sweet surrender into accepting with reverence, the cycle of all life forms. I – as an aspect of her being – surrender, accept and embrace it ALL.


Mama Tierra – Lyrics, English translation