Sitting with it

Today I sat in the waiting room at the car dealership while mechanics serviced my car. A women sat next to me who reminded me much of my aunt who passed away recently. When her husband got up and left the room for a bit, she shared with me that two months ago her nine month old grandson had died, and two weeks later her mom. All I had to tell her was that I could relate, as too many seem to have passed too quickly lately in my husband’s and my respective families. There was for once no awkwardness. No condolences necessary. No need to try and fix anything. Just the two of us, quietly sitting with it on that couch.

Tonight, during my GoddSCircle, our hostess came with this gem of a poem.


Why the f*ck do you swear so much?

Fun to watch. How fun is it to say fuck you without the charge?! I did this to my husband today who also watched the video, and said: I don’t give a shit with an ear to ear grin.
This is more like it. Why get attached to any of it: the *good* feeling, the *bad* feeling? Let’s go with what resonates at the core.
Listening to this Croatian Helena, I gather she went through a lot especially with her father. Just like I did with mine who was born in 1935 during WWII. Dad shared memories of how he saw his dad being held by SS-ers with a gun to his head, accused of harboring Jews on his property. My grandfather was told they’d spare his life if he shared the whereabouts of this Jewish family he had to be stowing away somewhere on his farm. Opa (grandfather) pretended to know nothing, lived through it and the family was never found by the occupiers on his farm, staying hidden very well when needed. But the war did a job on his family, claiming lives of two of his children (malnutrition, while they lived on a food producing farm, most of which was claimed by occupiers), which turned him into a violent, controlling man for a while. But he did shed it eventually and morphed into his gentle, loving self before he passed. Dad followed in his footsteps. Neither one of them were in essence violent men. It was just a behavior that was learned and then unlearned. A member of that Jewish family that got to stay on my grandfather’s farm still sends cards to my parents and now to my mom (dad passed) every Christmas / New Year’s, forever grateful for being spared from a fate too many Jewish families faced.
Today a group of oppressors is calling attention to themselves in both hemispheres on Earth, who are in essence also gentle loving souls, just running on fear. The Rothchild family for example, they learned fear and hatred (blocked love) being singled out as *undesirable* and *unworthy* for being Jewish, eventually working so very hard to get to the top and become part of the (out of) controllers. Recently I read this article by David Wilcock, which brought up the example I just mentioned.

Can we confront the fear and hatred among ourselves, unlearn it to be our gentle loving selves and by being that trigger the same all around us? You can read this and say Fuck you Nell! And I’ll laugh and may say I don’t give a shit free of charge 😀 (Nothing classier comes to mind in this moment). It’s not that I don’t care, I do. I am wholeheartedly engaged in a process of letting go of all that no longer serves.

Amazing how much we got and still get to learn in each lifetime, and it seems even more so in this lifetime.