34 weeks pregnant with Yannick
It became clear to me again that the umbillical chord between a mother and her child is energetically never cut.
Hello everyone,
Finally popping in after an amazing little Korean Spa extravaganza escape http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiHjJ0yvs38. While I was out someone else in my household decided to take total advantage. Yannick, feeling his oats, left on Friday and hasn’t come home since. One of his friends, Jacob, (21 and older then all the rest of his friends) has been trying to get a hold of him since yesterday. He had told me that he’d given Yannick the key to his sister’s appartment (she was away) for a few days, but that the key was returned since Sunday. He said he’d done the same thing to his mom when he was around Yannick’s age (16), and now wished he hadn’t, and therefor wants to do everything in his power to help me find him, bless his soul. He went all over town (Great Neck) yesterday. Spoke to some kids who had seen him and shared snippets of where and what he was doing. “He doesn’t seem to be in any kind of trouble. He was clear headed and of sound mind. So pls. don’t worry and please don’t call the police, because you don’t want him to have a record. I am also concerned for him, just like you, and will call you every time I have new information.” I know Yannick looks up to Jacob, and Jacob tells me he thinks the same way of Yannick.
We know Yannick was at school in Great Neck yesterday, but today he already figured we’d come to school to get him, so he didn’t show! I wonder where he is sleeping now. I have seen flashes of him sleeping in a friend’s car. When I asked Jacob why he ran away he said it was purely the adventure of it, seizing the moment and not wanting it to end. Yannick was last seen yesterday in town, hanging out with his (Korean) friend Jay between 5 and 6 pm, by a latino kid who hung out with them during that time, and then went home, not knowing about further plans of Yannick or Jay. The way Jacob decribed Jay was: “this Korean kid who always looks like he’s loosing his pants”. But he said it affectionately. I have met Jay myself on several occasions. He’s also been at our house and ever since then he always stops and says hi when he sees me. Jay got hit by a bus when he was a little kid, and he always limps. He is very nice, well mannered even though he wears his pants under his butt cheeks, still always wearing nice silk boxers. The sight of him like that made Benji and Max snicker under their breath, and as soon as he was out the door we burst out LOL. Jacob and I both agreed there was very little chance Yannick could sleep at Jay’s on a school night, since his parents are very strict.
I have texted several of his friends, by pulling up his phone record. I was able to recognize some numbers and piece together which friend’s number they were, based on location. One of the numbers started blinking right before my eyes: Jacob’s number. Talk about signs! I have also canceled Yannick’s phone, so no more phone records available. Ugh! Reason I canceled his phone was because he wasn’t talking to us on it anymore after Sunday, or texting back. We are left to wonder what he’s up to, at times letting our imaginations run wild…
I texted his friend Jay letting him know I was getting close to putting posters all over Great Neck with my son’s picture on it: Missing. Pls. call… etc., but only as a last resort as I wouldn’t wish that kind of embarrasment on him or anyone else.
Of course I have called on all angels to help resolve this situation. Your supportive prayers, thoughts, energy, ho’oponopono’s are much appreciated.
Sending love, support and healing to all who have picked up a virus. Apparently it is part of the earth’s self healing process, as she is raising her vibration, and processing viruses, thereby boosting our immune systems, believe it or not, also raise our vibration. The other funny thing about viruses, as soon as you name them, they mutate into something else. “Nature’s intelligence works with effortless ease” even though many were already aware of this fact at the time, Deepak Chopra nailed this one by putting the message out to the masses, and I am forever grateful to him for bringing it home the way he did.
Now if someone could bring my son home, all would be well again. The message I receive right now is that all is well already. My son is well, he isn’t lost, he just doesn’t want to be found. Isn’t that grand? Ugh! What is this? An initiation of some sort. Fine. I’m still the mom. I want him home. His little brothers miss him too. They like hanging out on their big brother’s bed reading just to feel some sort of connection with him.
I keep sending Yannick love. Even though I want him home, my heartfelt wish for him is to get through the rite of initiation he has chosen for himself as well as possible. May he find exactly that what he needs, to enhance his well being and to help shape him into the man he wants to become, that I have had the priviledge to have seen glimpses of.
Love to all,
Nell
elxroflife 
Just so you know as a mom I did get cought up in a storm of emotions ranging from anger, rage, fear (False Evidence Appearing Real), to the feeling of going crazy. I didn’t loose myself in it for too long, as I simply felt it wasn’t productive and caused a tension in my body that just felt like it wasn’t supportive of anyone or anything. So instead I finally breathed and found guidance and clarity in the ever supportive, quiet and peaceful inner voice, sprung from the current of divine love.
It became clear to me again that the umbillical chord between a mother and her child is energetically never cut. Also whatever vibration I carry, (as a neurofeedback trainer I learned thoughts and emotions carry vibrational frequencies that can actually be measured!) is also showing up in the object of my thoughts and emotions, especially when there is an umbillical line still open! I realized that my own mother’s words of wisdom came in handy here: “When your child seems out of control, and out of touch with love, it may seem as if he’s not deserving love. But it’s really a cry for help. This is when he needs your love the most.”
Dear Nell,
My heart goes out to you. I did this exact same thing to my parents when I was young. I had a very independant soul from birth and wanted to prove to myself that I could make it out in the world. I also had an argument with my mother and thought she didnt love me. Teenagers tend to catastrophise things.
Your Yannick probably has his own unique reasons for doing this. At least he is still attending school. Clearly he wants you to know he is ok as he has allowed others to see him knowing they will tell you.
I didnt come home until I got very sick. The strain of trying to live out was too much I think. I rang my parents who came and got me without getting into a flap. Just let it go. We never discussed why it happened. Probably should have.
Sometimes we do things and its like a roller coaster, something happens and you start reacting and then everything happens in a rush and you have no control over the outcome. You just have to ride it until it ends.
I pray that he stays safe until his ride ends and he comes home to you or rings you and you go and pick him up. Is it possible to start his phone again? He will need a way of contacting you when he is finished what he had to do.
Thanks so much for your thoughts and what you are sharing Jenny.
Meanwhile Yannick has contacted me (through his friend Jacob). All he wanted was quiet. I of all people really understand this. He is coming home, if not this evening, definitely tomorrow. Jacob asked if we could try not giving him “a hard time” when he does come home. I have no intention of giving him a hard time. I do intend to tell him what it does to a mom when you don’t tell her where you are. And I’m sure my husband has a few things to say. But I’m sure it is about talking it out, not at all about a control game. He’s growing up and we have to find a way through it, and communicate boundaries, his and ours. Jacob already lectured him on “what he had done to his mom” too, and said to him: “If you don’t go home tonight and I hear from your mom again, I’m gonna mess you up!” Interesting to see who Yannick chose as a mentor. Naturally I am very grateful! I’ve been asking the universe to provide worthwhile mentors for Yannick. Now I know for sure he’s got one!
My husband doesn’t want to reinstate his son’s phone yet. He will find a way for his son to earn back that priviledge. I respect that, trust Yannick will too eventually. If Yannick wants to call us, he can spare a quarter for a pay phone, or ask a friend to borrow his/her cell phone. In my heart I know he is fine and safe. He knows he is loved, and I know that love is reciprocated. Everything that was shared in our last conversation confirmed that much, and more.
Jenny:
You say: “The strain of trying to live out was too much I think.”
Energetically it can be really hard to separate from a love relationship on many levels, (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual) whether it is from parents or a lover, especially when it is something you have experienced for most of your life. No wonder you got sick. I do believe teens need to flex or test their wings, and it is hard on the kid and the parents no matter what. A psychotherapist who particularly specializes in boys coming of age, has seen Yannick, my husband and I for a couple of sessions helping us through a hurdle. He once said to us: “The process of birth is usually painful, we have come to expect that, and it is probably so that we don’t take our kids lives for granted. Meanwhile the process of a teenager coming into his/her own is also a form of birth or rebirth, and thus why wouldn’t it be painful? They have to cut chords to come into their own, and how could they possibly know how to do this gracefully? It’s hard enough to do it at all.”
Are your parents still around Jenny? Nothing ever “should”, as it comes from a social conditioning rooted in expectation and fear (False Evidence Appearing Real). But if you feel strongly you’d like to talk about this now with your parents, that’s a different story. Maybe you could do this as a writing assignment. Imagine the conversation, taking in your parents’ perspective as well, being a parent now you may have a very good idea. One thing for sure, your parents’ actions certainly showed their unconditional love for you.
Dear Nell,
Thankyou for reaching out to support me even when you must be feeling the strain of your own experience. I just felt what happened to me might shed some light on the situation.
I am so glad Yannick has communicated with you. I do understand about the mobile. Suggesting it was a knee jerk reaction on my part. I agree that good friends are so important for your son. So great he has Jacob. I found that with mine. Their friends dictated how they reacted in most situations and I’m thankful my children generally chose friends well.
My parents are still around. I’m going to their 60th wedding anniversary on the 30th April. We had many ups and downs over the years and communication has rarely been a strong point especially when its about emotions.
I found Louise Hay tapes on forgiveness to be really helpful. You have to forgive everyone in your life even yourself. It creates dramatic change.
Sending more love to the situation for you and Yannick.