A Love affair with the unknown

In response to Angelina Jolie Pitt’s “Diary of a surgery” published in the New York Times yesterday, I was asked what I would do. Here is my answer.

To each their own. It’s irrelevant to tell you what I would do. I can share my experience without wanting to judge anyone else’s experience.


I had breast cancer. The first cancer scare was at about 18. A tumor on my nipple. With a local anesthetic, I had it surgically removed. Next I had a growth in the same spot nearly two years later. The second time around the surgeon said he needed to cut and explore deeper, that it may leave a scar and that it may interfere with future breast feeding. He also said that some moms can breastfeed with only one breast, and that the tissue of the nipple is much like scar tissue, so that if anything would be visible, it would be minimal. Again under local anesthesia, I underwent surgery and a biopsy. In the chair I had a vision of myself with a perfectly healthy and capable nipple as the surgery took place. I remember the surgeon being very skilled and with excellent “bedside manner”. He had a sense of humor too. “You better stop laughing now because I do have a razor sharp scalpel in my hand, and could accidentally slice up your nipple here.” Boy did I stop laughing fast! But not smiling. I underwent this surgery smiling, knowing I was in excellent hands here.

Fast forward 20 or so years. Three kids I was able to have as nature intended. Breast fed without a problem, with the help of two flawless resilient nipples. I was still nursing my youngest who was an infant at the time, when I had a cancerous mass in one of my breasts.

I went to see an MD, who also was an ND (Naturopathic Dr) and a doctor of Bio Energy Medicine. Living in natural surroundings, natural child birth, etc. brought me back in touch with the laws of nature. So any doctor that I was going to see, in my perspective also had to be able to see all of me.

She made the diagnosis like any doctor, but everything else was different. She said: “We can have this thing cleared up in a matter of days if you are willing to work through it, instead of aggressively fighting against it. Cancer is an inflammatory response that can be expressed in various ways. It feeds on fear, which is why I like to call it ‘puss dis ease’. Sometimes it is viral, sometimes it is parasitic. Yours looks more like an ingrown pimple. Never underestimate the miracle of the human body. It is a matter of feeding it the correct triggers, and it will respond accordingly.”

She did see all of me, including my intuitive resources, crystal therapy work, and my ability to self heal. We listened to each other and came up with a plan of action.

1 Nutritional intervention. I went on a liquid, alkalizing superfood diet, juicing for 5 days. After that I still cut out white flour and grains for a while. Nothing else was different as I have steered clear of refined and fake sugars for a long time already.

2. Lymphatic drainage massage of breast tissue and surrounding area. Pressure point release work afterwards to restore flow of fluids.

3. Commune with nature and ancestry to get to the root cause. This involved crystal therapy, working with a group of crystals intended to get to the root cause and release it.

Therapeutic colors and inaudible (to human ear) sound frequencies quickly helped reveal the cause.

Anger is an acid, that can do more damage to the vessel in which it is stored, than the object on which it is poured. ~ Mark Twain

There was a massive amount of unresolved anger which had grown into a quiet rage. I was guided to work through this gently, and take ownership of my part in everything that lead to the situation at hand.

The work included forgiveness and repatterning of Love in relation to self and all. This, I was able to see clearly, did not mean I had forgotten acts of violence and related injustices. It meant I released myself from the game of victim and villainhood. It helped make the unconscious (unknown, unresolved) conscious and only required work on my part as part of a whole. Spent quite a bit writing it out of my system in letters addressed to those I harbored anger at, with the intention to release that too. I burnt the letters outside on my patio, blessed water (representing honoring all emotions with reverence, and recognizing –also with reverence –that the greatest part of physical matter actually consists of water) and poured it over the ashes. I found myself whole without needing permission or apologies from anyone else. I kept a vision of excellent vibrant health.

My armpits released a green acid (visible in a previously white and now ruined shirt). It burnt my pits: they were bright red! I lovingly put calendula cream and watched the skin of my armpits peel and renew itself.

Eventually I did receive apologies, even without asking for it. Consciousness is a beautiful, collective thing that doesn’t really need any nudging or manipulation. My breasts have been happy and healthy ever since.

I continue to massage my breast tissue and surrounding area, (sometimes with my hands, sometimes the massage pulse from the shower head) lovingly, always lovingly. and when I feel like it, also do a few simple pressure point releases.



PS: Angeline Jolie Pitt – and her beautiful family – have my best wishes. In her shoes I would BE her, and do the exact same thing. There are all kinds of courage, and I imagine going through the things she has obviously lived through took loads of courage too ❤



  1. Ron · March 28, 2015

    This is a great story, Nell. I had a tear in my eye….

  2. elxroflife · March 28, 2015

    Ron, thanks so much for reading and resonating. To know that what I shared here touched you… brings a tear to my eye too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s