consciousness: Get a newspaper article and rewrite it with every group and
character as yourself, because if all is one every person that shows up in life
is another yourself. Hence every situation is of your own creation. Then read it and see how it feels.
outrage I have been feeling is the same in intensity, yet from a different angle than that of most reactions I have read. It’s about entire groups of people ready to lynch someone due to one-dimensional snippets from the media: hearsay. Naturally it is incredibly sad when a little child’s life ends. But to then have entire groups of people demanding some sort of “justice” based on hearsay??? Were any of us there? Apparently yes, we were all there. I am all of *those people*. Hmmm. The child, the mom, the crowd, the jury and the proscecution. And apparently most of the other myselves want to see my young mom self as the murderer, and we want me to *suffer* death and call it justice. Hmmm. In my humble opinion there is very little suffering in a courtroom induced death by injection, when in reality there is no death, not really. As if there is nothing beside our physical appearance. There is a return to source and we can start all over again being another myself…
Ever since the 2008 disappearance of 2-year-old me, I have eaten up every
sound bite I could find on the missing-person-turned-murder case.
So when I heard Tuesday that I, Nell Tomassen Reboh, was found not guilty
of murder, I (57), couldn’t help but react with shock and
“Oh, my God,” I exclaimed when I heard the verdict after slipping into a
downtown bar to watch it on TV.
“Personally, I feel that I’m guilty,” said Nell Tomassen Reboh, a
grandmother and retired child protective-services worker visiting from Macon,
Ga. “If it was an accident, why not report it to 911?”
Across Central Florida, I gasped and cried out at the moment the verdict
was announced, whether or not I agreed with it.
“The story is so crazy, and the outcome is even crazier,” said Nell
Tomassen Reboh, 34, who owns a pizza parlor in downtown
Orlando and walked to the courthouse after the verdict was announced.
Outside the courthouse, hundreds of myself roared with outrage. A few of
me said there hadn’t been enough evidence to convict, and dozens more waited
around, cameras ready, in the hope of seeing some of myself as the players in
the case leaving the building.
“I’m sure that it will be about as big as the Nell Tomassen Reboh case down the
road, and it will be nice to say I’ve been there,” said I, 20, of Stuart, who
stood on a bench outside the courthouse, hoping to take a picture of me on my
Instead, I was returned to the Orange County Jail until sentencing
Ten miles away, near the home I shared with my parents and Nell on
Hopespring Drive in east Orange County, a stream of mourners and trial watchers expressed disappointment.
“I’m very, very sad, said I, of Orange County, who carried a teddy bear
to a makeshift memorial for Nell that recently sprang up off Suburban Drive,
where my little body was found in December 2008.
Defense attorneys Nell Tomassen Reboh and myself celebrated our victory
with a champagne toast at Terrace 390, a restaurant across the street from the
courthouse on Orange Avenue.
As word of my whereabouts spread, many of me gathered in front of the
door of the restaurant, where the lawyer myselves were hanging out with about 20 other myselves, including TV personality Nell Tomassen Reboh.
“I shouldn’t be celebrating,” Nell Tomassen Reboh of Orlando said. “My
little girl self is dead, and I helped my killer go free.”
Nell Tomassen Reboh, who lives a couple of miles from the Reboh home,
also was appalled.
“Where’s justice for Nell?” I asked. “Do I mean to tell me that in
Florida I can kill my child self, toss myself on the side of the road and go
Mesmerized by the six-week trial and the mystery of Nell’s death, I
expressed surprise and anger that as a young mother I likely will be released
from jail after I am sentenced for lying to law officers — the only crimes my
jury selves found I had committed.
“I’m physically ill that I am walking,” said Nell Tomassen Reboh, 58, who
is visiting from Virginia Beach, Va., and watched the verdict at a downtown
restaurant. “I’m a mother.”
Other myselves said I was surprised by my jury selves’ decision but
understood it because I thought my prosecutor selves did not present a strong
“I am guilty … however, had I been in that jury, I probably would’ve gone
the same way I went,” said Nell Tomassen Reboh of Sanford, who camped out in front of the courthouse all morning, waiting to hear the verdict or get tickets to the trial for Wednesday.
Copyright © 2011, Orlando Sentinel
First I started feeling silly and wondered if I had a few drinks after
“slipping into a bar to watch the verdict”.
Next I read it again. I felt sad for the little girl and at the same time
felt she had been very protected, did not suffer any more then her soul agreed
to experience. I feel for everyone in this story. I accept their expressed
thoughts and feelings with much compassion. And I don’t feel the need to judge
any of *my I-characters*, though the attorney’ selves celebrating “our” victory
is something I have a hard time identifying with or understanding. I don’t
resonate much with man-made laws that seem to increasingly be written to contradict themselves constantly. It seems a silly and senseless form of entertainment. But if it makes the other myselves happy, or outraged, it will continue and I accept it as something that obviously serves a purpose of providing valuable experiences on some level. Personally I resonate more with the laws of nature, and find they always work. They have to do with purpose, karma and life lessons we each agree to experience before we are born into this world. If I don’t like my current experience I better have a conversation with my higher guidance and see what can be done to change the scripts I am currently running. It can be done, if I am willing to commit to it serving the highest purpose for all concerned. If I am willing to cut through the chatter of the mind and follow the guidance that comes from the heart. The inner voice that is fed by the quiet current of loving kindness.
As for the little girl’s mom: I am sorry. Please forgive me. I thank you and
I love you. Ho’oponopono comes to mind. I am singing it three times for her, and
for her parents, Caylee’s grandparents too. And for all the ones that knew and
loved her. Caylee, I am quite certain, went straight back to source, where she
is in no need for justice and lack does not exist. I do love the memory of her
beautiful appearance here on earth, touching so many hearts and souls, including mine. I thank her for causing my heart to bleed for her so it can be open. And for teaching me to look within for answers, and to look for guidance to change and transmute negative scripts I am running.